Powerless
by Angelique
Summary: A song-fic to Heather Nova's "Heart and Shoulder" , Buffy must face her inner demons when something unexpected happens to Riley


Powerless

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or any of its characters, I merely use them for my own amusement

Buffy watched the iridescent moonlight wash over Riley's pain stricken face. Terror was taking over her entire being as she watched her lover wince in pain. Riley was lying in the damp grass near a headstone in a place Buffy knew only too well, the cemetery. She had told him not to go patrolling with her that night, she had told him she could take care of herself, she told him that this demon was too strong for him, but he listened to none of it. As he lay fighting for breath on the ground Buffy held his clammy hand tight. She bent down and whispered in his ear, "Riley, I......" she faltered and brushed the stinging tears off her face, "love you. Never leave me, I....I..." she took a deep breath, "can't make it without you." As those last words left her mouth she sobbed wildly, "Why! WHY! Why didn't you listen to me, I told you.....I told you...............," she embraced Riley and cried into his shoulder. 

"Wanna cry for you

Would it do any good

If I rained for you

It would just be water"

"Buffy...............," he croaked.

Buffy couldn't stand to see Riley in this state, she didn't know what to do. She feared that if she moved him it might worsen his condition and she was too stunned to run for help. For another thing it was 2:00 in the morning, she didn't know of anyone who could help her. But it was torture watching Riley writhe in agony, it took all of her strength to keep from breaking down. So for Riley's sake she bottled her emotions inside then it appeared that only one of them was going through immeasurable pain.

"And the nights with you

And the storms in your hand

And your down, and your down 

And I can't lift you"

Riley furrowed his brow as a new burst of pain erupted inside himself. The demon had punctured his midsection just a bit below his stomach, the wound was deep and wouldn't stop gushing blood. Riley had not gone up against a typical vamp, Buffy even had a hard time dusting it. How Riley had paid for his stubbornness, if only he had listened. Try as Buffy might the blood was not letting up, and Riley's body became cool to the touch. His palm that she held onto with the jaws of death was becoming limp, she could feel him drifting away. Suddenly he jerked up and managed to whisper, "Buffy.......................tell...me."

"Riley what?" Buffy anxiously inquired. "Tell me what?"

He wouldn't answer. Minutes went by and he just lay there with a faraway look in his eyes. She kept asking but he wouldn't respond it was like he couldn't see or hear her. Finally he made a sudden movement and motioned for her to come closer.

"The ................truth," he breathed.

"What do you mean, what truth?" she asked, startled.

Again he wouldn't answer. The question plagued her mind, whatever did he mean? She never kept anything from him except..........Angel. Oh god, if there was ever a worse time to be talking about her ex-lover demon than this was it. But what did he want to know? It had taken her a while but she had told him everything that had happened between her and Angel. Or had she? 

"I'm powerless to change your world

I'm powerless to stop the hurt

I'll give you my heart give you my shoulder

Give you my heart, give you my shoulder"

As she searched her mind, Riley was writhing in anguish. He could feel his time coming, and desperately wanted Buffy to tell him truth about Angel. If there was anything he couldn't go to the grave with not knowing than this was it. He mustered up his remaining strength and faintly whispered, "truthfully...............did you...love..Angel?"

Buffy was stunned, she wasn't sure she had heard right. She wasn't sure how to respond, her mind was reeling. 

"Riley, its true I had feelings for him, but................" she didn't quite know how to end it. "But never, I could never love him more than I love you."

She felt horrible, she was lying and she knew it. But what else could she do? Riley was lying on his deathbed, this was not the time to be professing her love for her ex-boyfriend. Still, she felt as though she had betrayed Angel. Deep down she knew she could never shake her feelings for him, their love would be eternal. 

"I'm powerless to change your world

I'm powerless to stop the hurt

I'm trying hard to be your tower of strength

I'm trying hard to bring you back to joy"

Suddenly, Riley made an attempt to sit up so Buffy cradled him in her arms. His parched lips formed words but no sound came out.

"Riley," Buffy murmured, "what do you want to say?"

"Your....." he barely whispered, "........lying."

Buffy's heart stopped, she couldn't speak. How? How did he know? How did he know her hearts true feelings? It pained her but she could not respond there was no need to patronize him, both of them knew the unspoken truth.

Riley stared straight into the depths of her soul and with his last ounce of strength said, "I will always love you, even though you never loved me." As his last word left his mouth his eyes rolled back and his hand became limp.

"When the night just cuts you through

And the dream is lost to you

When your worried and confused

I will give you my heart, give you my shoulder"


End file.
